Who am I

Psychology is what I aspire to learn the most about. To be able to counsel those who struggle with the question, “who am I”. When I hear those words it only makes me think of someone who is seeking to identify themselves, and the problem with that is we are most likely to find ourselves to be quite fragile. People always want to answer with where they came from, what they have done thus far. We shouldn’t be answering who we are, but “what we can be”. I am proud that 10 years ago I swore I couldn’t go to college because I would struggle and most likely fail, only to prove myself wrong. So far I have been an Honor student and on the Deans list. Not only did I prove myself wrong, but I did this at probably the worst time in my life. I am proud that I now know without a dought that I don’t need to make my decisions based on making others happy, that I need to be happy first. I am proud that at a difficult place in my marriage that I chose God and my husband, rather than my family and friends who kept saying divorce. I am proud that I never viewed looks as important, and I almost think it was a gift knowing that In my lifetime I would lose my hair. I am proud that I never want to take the easy way out and let someone do things for me, that I aspire to do all things myself. I believe all suffering is caused by ignorance. People inflict pain on others in the selfish pursuit of their happiness or satisfaction. I believe that the very purpose of life is to be happy. Since we are not solely material creatures, it is a mistake to place all our hopes for happiness on external development alone. I do not believe in sadness at death. A poem by Williams Wordsworth says “Though nothing can bring back the hour of splendour in the grass, of glory in the flower; We will grieve not, rather find Strength in what remains behind;”. I am a great painter even though I am my own worst critic. I am the best organizer I know and a little label happy. I always find a reason to reach out and speak to someone even when others find it eccentric. I am a great sister, as I took care and was there for my brothers the best way I knew how. Are we merely the sum of things we do? Our existence is not that there is so little, but so much. I find it impossible to answer this question. This is the idea that our life is based on the idea that we know we do, but what about the things that we don’t know we have done. We affect persons and things in our everyday life. Sometimes we can unknowingly help someone all the time. I believe that we have many selves. Politicians, professional athletes and actors are all famous for having public and private personas, just as we are too. Is it not easier to act a certain way around your in-laws and a different way around your friends? It simply makes life easier. As for self-esteem, my understanding is that it is less important to have high self-esteem than it is to simply experience self-acceptance based as little on conventional ideas of what is 'acceptable' as possible. Self Concept is simply the perception that we have of ourselves, while self esteem is the idea of his or herself own worth. For example a person with anorexia may have a self concept that they are thin and beautiful, but their over all self esteem can encompass their emotions and ideas. They can think they are unworthy of anything, that the more they eat the fatter they get, thus endangering themselves. It depends on what you believe in to determine what affects Self esteem. Behaviorist would say that environment would have a lot to do with it. How did you grow up, was the person abused, was the person simply anti social. There are many aspects that can determine a person self worth. Just one bad relationship can lead to low self esteem. I believe that Americans are equal in high and low self esteem. Americans also have more mental illnesses than most third world countries. Take anorexia again. As American watch television and read magazines about beauty and style. Where image is to be a certain way, a third world country may be just looking to have food that day. Which brings me back to the point that self image has so much to do with environment.